My string of panic inducing, unpredicted, could-be disasters took another turn yesterday.
9 weeks to our wedding and a dodgy fire certificate means we can either pull out of the sale, losing our legal fees and ending up homeless. Or at least at the mercy of any friends and family who’ll take pity. Or we can pay for the work ourselves and end up broke (who needs food anyway right?). Or we can leave ourselves at severe risk if a fire were to start. Without a shred of insurance cover and a lot of debt….
What would you choose?
More importantly how would you react? Like me with fear, anxiety and fleeting thoughts of depression?
As I was praying and at the end of my seriously worn tether I asked God what was going on.
What I heard wasn’t really what I wanted to hear!
This is not the most unstable your life will feel, things will be less secure and far more stressful later – so I need you to learn to deal with it now!
But Lord that is difficult! I want to cry and snap and flounce around getting sympathy. I want someone to be angry at!
My plans are put on hold so I have a right to act badly!
Oh. Hello pride….. That’s not a good attitude is it?
Sorry lord help me trust you. Help me learn. Make me humble. Make me grateful – I am so much better off than most in the world. Lord you know how lazy and proud I am, please forgive me. Teach me your way through this.
God is a safe place to hide,
ready to help when we need him. We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom,
courageous in sea storm and earthquake, Before the rush and roar of oceans,
the tremors that shift mountains.
Jacob-wrestling God fights for us, God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.