Am I a fraud? This is the thought going through my head today. Am I lying to myself when I say I love Jesus? Do I really, truly understand the shallowness of my wishy-washy relationship with God?
Yes, I mostly go to Church, yes I try to pray everyday, and yes I try to thank God when I remember to. I say I live for Jesus, I’ve been baptised, I tick “Christian” on forms. Hey, I even get pictures from God! I even do mission and youth work, my heart beats faster when I think of Jesus, sometimes though not always.
How long would a human relationship last if I treated the person the same as I treat Jesus?
If I gave someone the part of the day when I’m THE MOST TIRED. When I skim read their texts or emails? When I only half listen to what they want me to do and don’t often make the effort to do it. If I never really, really, properly spoke to other people about them, if I went through my whole day without even thinking to tell them how I am? What if I never, ever asked them what was important to them. Do you think this relationship would survive?
Today I’m reminded of theses words, and I wonder if I am dangerously close to being the kind of person who hears them back from the Lord…
21 “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. 22 On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ 23 But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’ Matthew 7:21-23
This is my prayer today, that God will shock me out of this domesticated rut that I am in, that he will give me the electrifying passion he inspires in people to live life with God as the main focus. I want to live seeing God as my main meal, my breakfast, lunch and tea and not just a snack to fit in when I fancy it.
Jesus, show me what it means to know you, I don’t want to lie to you with my actions any longer.
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