“I’m a boy and you’re a girl – it would never work!”
These words, if you’ll be believe it, were spoken to me by my fiance. Clearly he was wrong, because 3 years on we’re planning our wedding! He said them to me before we started seeing each other, and I of course like the normal woman I am immediately (mis)read thousands of signs from that one sentence….
“Oh no, maybe he KNOWS I like him and he’s trying to put me off?
Maybe he feels the same but he’s too shy to tell me???????????
Maybe he was thinking about someone else and doesn’t like me at all????????”
In reality he was quoting a cartoon……..
Yup, you got it, a cartoon. I later challenged him about it and I found out that instead of some cryptic comment about his deep-seated feelings towards me, he was actually thinking about the TV he’d watched earlier.
How could we be so different?
Like every part of our relationship I was complex and he was simple, I though too much and, well, he doesn’t like to think (a hidden strength I’m only just starting to appreciate).
So many times since that day I have thought to myself, how on earth are we going to work when we barely understand why the other person is doing the things they naturally do? Let alone love them in the way they feel loved? He has not thought these things, although I know he feels the frustration just the same.
So before I don my wedding dress and he abandons his flip-flops for a suit and tie I’m trying to learn as much as I can about why it’s ok for us to be different. Here are my ideas so far…
His strengths make up for my weaknesses. Where I am negative, he is positive. Where I am all work, he is all play. Where I hide from risk taking, he loves the challenge. We are drawing out the best in each other and becoming more rounded individuals.
- We can relate to different types of people now. Before I knew him I could not understand any one like him, now I have an insight I never would have had before.
- When love is hard to do, we need Jesus more. When loving someone takes effort we learn more about Calvary love and stop relying on hollywood love.
All in all I’m holding onto the fact that Jesus is the centre of our relationship, when we don’t cling onto Him in prayer, we just don’t work. This relationship draws me closer to Jesus.
I’m a girl and he’s a boy – and it’s just fine that we’re different!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and if you have any thoughts or advice (pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase) on this subject, I would be so grateful and love to hear your comments!
photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/annayanev/3491617954/”>a n i. Y. via http://photopin.com”>photopin> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>cc</a>
photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/marcus_hansson/248201069/”>Marcus Hansson</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>cc</a>