The Black Spot

Pirates get warning that their lives are about to fall apart, or so legend tells us. The Black Spot, fore-teller of misfortune, the dreaded blot found on a single enveloped page. From the moment they receive it they know that life as they know it is about to change, a new captain is on his way, and they will be out on their backsides ship less, jobless and alone.

I think some of us would actually be quite grateful for the warning if we are honest with ourselves. Too often something comes out of the blue at us and knocks us for six. How amazing would it be to be able to live knowing everything was fine unless we saw the disastrous black smudge?

Ahhh the freedom, the peace, the rest!

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I wonder how many of us actually live as if we have already received our own black spot? Do you, like me, react to good news with apprehension? Not wanting to fully enjoy the moment incase, by some small chance it all falls apart. Does every change in life leave us peering round the corner wondering if This. Is. It. the moment that everything goes wrong?

Why do we live like this? With good news bringing fear of disaster? What goes up must come down, when things are fantastic there is further to fall. This logic is toxic!

If I truly believed that Jesus is who he says he is I would not live in fear of the future, I would not worry about risks, I would not doubt His goodness.

And yet I still do fear those things, although I am trying not to. The bitter chains of experience have left their mark on me, even though they were loosened 2000 years ago.

One day I will get to the place of belief where all I see are the opportunities for His grace-life to flow out and encapsulate me. Every problem a challenge He has already found the solution to, every good thing a blessing straight from His hand, no strings, no small print, sheer love.

I’m not there but I’m so much closer than I was.

For now it is enough to know He loves me, even with my doubts. He protects me, even whilst I’m running away to hide. He knows where I’ve been, and who it’s made me and it makes no difference to His love.

He loves me, even when I don’t believe.

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/alicepopkorn/4204261438/”>AlicePopkorn</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>cc</a>

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One thought on “The Black Spot

  1. Pingback: Stress | Hope Blooms in Darkness

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