Five years ago I had no hope for my future. I was devastated, massacred by my own attitude and the circumstances that would (eventually) chisel out my desperation for Jesus.
I had a choice, life or death, fear or faith, trust or suspicion, doubt or belief, and any other Sunday school inspired cliché you can think of.
When I took the bible at its word and believed, the clichés came into being; strong armoured guardians who protected my fragile beginning of hopefulness.
His promises burst out at me, life, future, husband, ministry, laughter, a home, mission and joy. Things I could barely contemplate were offered to me. Sometimes I took them as garenteed and I bounced off the ceiling, other times I ignored them and sank into despair.
The wrestling tears of the “nearly-but-not-yet” hopes plagued me through difficult times when I just could not see the way that they could come true.
Months and years passed before I saw any movement, and it seemed, that every promise He made was followed by staggering proof that He could not do it.
Today He has given me a breakthrough! He’s provided a flat to start our new life in, myself and my fiance. He provided the job to pay for the mortgage, the ability to save for the deposit and the surprise inheritance when we needed extra. What an awesome God!
I could speak for days of the tiny, beautiful, precise ways God has searched my life for the most unimportant needs and in His time he has met them in ways I could never have imagined.
I don’t know what your heart longs for or the hidden desires that maybe even you don’t fully realise, but I know that He does. He isn’t a distant god immune to our cries, He is a God covered in the dirt of our personalities, he is a servant God who uncovers and meets needs before we know them. He is an active God, a God of promises, of incomprehensible kindness.
Take Him at his challenges, dive into his word, find the promises your head can’t cope with and forge your heart into belief.
I am so Grateful
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